Friday, October 17, 2008

temper tantrum

Not them...me.

I don't know what it was about tonight...or the day. Camryn was emotional all day. Tyler was in his own world. Amber was just slightly defiant.

I was handling it ok. We had dinner at Camryn's school...we almost got out of there without spilling anything...almost. Luckily the lemonade stayed on the table and only took 20 napkins to wipe up...while my kids stood around asking what happened and while all the other parents watched.

Then there was the grocery store, where they were fine. Maybe it was the bribery of the ice cream we were buying.

Then there was the 2nd book request. PJs first....a welcomed phone call....but then it started. They wouldn't leave me alone while I was talking on the phone. I asked nicely then sent them to their rooms. Every 45 seconds one came out to see if they could come out yet.

I was SO frustrated. How hard is it to have a peaceful phone call? Then my temper had no fuse left and I started getting mad about little, stupid things. And then I started yelling. About stupid things. And then I threw things...backpacks...not at them, but just as a source of venting. Then they cried out of fear and confusion.

It was the kind of moment that if Dr. Phil's cameras had been in my house I'd be judged harshly.

Why do we do that? Because we are bigger than them and it makes us feel better? Absolutely not. I felt like sh*t. To see the looks on my daughter's faces was horrid. But I was SO frustrated...about nothing major. Nothing that should have caused me to loose my temper like that. Why do we, as moms, do that?

Can you imagine if God got frustrated at us like that, when we did stupid things? Thank goodness for His mercy.

I had a lot of apologizing to do...to my kids, and to God.

Why do we get like that?
I'm saying "we" because I'm hoping some of you relate!!

1 comment:

JLF said...

Oh girl, I just did that the other day ... just tired of it all, tired of the life I signed up for, tired of the whining, tired that my husband can't hear it, tired of being tired and then I was more tired. I get you, I love you and I think your perspective about God and His Mercy is just what I needed to read.